From 1967 to 1979 Joanne Fleisher led a happy life in the suburbs, a mother of two and the wife of a successful lawyer. Then she fell in love with a female friend and everything changed. Her experiences, as well as those of the women who write to her advice column Ask Joanne (www.lavendervisions.com), inspired her to write Living Two Lives, a guide for women grappling with the difficult process of coming out while being married to a man. Now a licensed clinical social worker, Fleisher has conducted married women's support groups, weekend conferences, individual therapy sessions, and national and international phone consultations for women in this situation. She now brings her wealth of insight to this guide to help married women navigate the stages of coming out: initial feelings of same-sex attraction, telling husbands and children, managing a roller coaster of emotions (grief at the end of a marriage, confusion and anger at the loss of heterosexual privilege, guilt, anxiety, depression), developing a support system, executing the awkward phases of dating, and, finally, moving into a new chapter of life. In addition, Living Two Lives provides resources on organizations for married women, suggested reading, and helpful websites. Married women are a huge but invisible part of the lesbian population, often falling between the cracks of available resources. This book is a welcome tool to guide them out of isolation and into rich, rewarding lives.
Joanne Fleisher is a lifelong resident of Philadelphia. She is a graduate of Simmons College and of the Bryn Mawr Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research. She and her partner of 25 years co-parented her daughters with her ex-husband, and she recently became a grandmother.
Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
Rating: - AMAZING!
After wading through a few books on Amazon on the subject, I settled on this one because it was the only one I found to be helpful for my situation. Boy was it! I recently came out to my husband of 8 years and this book really helped to validate so many of my feelings. The women's narratives helped me to realize that I wasn't alone and that everything I've been feeling is common to my situation. The author doesn't advocate any particular approach, but rather helps you to explore the avenues and decisions YOU want to pursue and does it WITHOUT JUDGMENT.
Rating: - Understanding the Situation
Women who feel like they're alone in this situation will find guidance and assurance that they are not alone.
Rating: - Married to a Man And in Love With a Woman
Great book. Very insightful.
Rating: - A realistic and beneficial guide to women
The author approaches the subject matter in a sensitive and proactive manner. The book provides a lot of supportive information for women that may feel they are all alone or the only one that has or is going through this process. The author really addresses the stages and situations that are part of the process providing mulitple scenarios, suggestions, and rationale without judgment. An excellent book for all parties going through this life transition.
Rating: - ***** Love is a Four-Letter Word That We Can't Live Without *****
As a psychotherapist, I can say that the topic of this book is timely and a most welcome addition to the literature on it. For despite the untold depth of despair that our sexual-orientation causes in ourselves, partners, family, friends, and society-at-large, we have not seen anything yet, as we say, nor do we see the upside to this revolution. In fact, the primary task for each of us is to STOP the blame-game; this is a no-fault biological upgrade downloading into our genetic programming. That is, it is as organic, natural as mom, apple pie, and Chevrolet. For my own research, and visions, into ... Read More
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