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Binding: Paperback Dewey Decimal Number: 306.76620973 EAN: 9780738210612 ISBN: 0738210617 Label: Da Capo Press Manufacturer: Da Capo Press Number Of Items: 1 Number Of Pages: 224 Publication Date: May 30, 2006 Publisher: Da Capo Press Sales Rank: 13114 Studio: Da Capo Press
The gay male world today is characterized by seductive beauty, artful creativity, flamboyant sexuality, and, encouragingly, unprecedented acceptability in society. Yet despite the progress of the recent past, gay men still find themselves asking, "Are we really better off?" The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, a shame gay men may strive to obscure with a faade of beauty, creativity, or material success. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author's own journey to be free of anger and of shame, as well as the stories of many of his friends and clients, The Velvet Rage outlines the three distinct stages to emotional well-being for gay men. Offering profoundly beneficial strategies to stop the insidious cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior, The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that will influence the public discourse on gay culture, and positively change the lives of gay men who read it.
Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
Rating: - Understanding Internalized Homophobia
This book is an excellent exploration of internalized homophobia, and specifically targets white gay men. There are a number of consequences that come with being gay- not only external threats like the threat of violence, the reaction of one's family, being out in the world, and other considerations, but the way we perceive ourselves and our own sexuality. There are a number of harmful patterns that get played out in queer communities, but we often don't discuss them as being directly linked to oppression. We often view them as our own failures/inadequacies. This book is an excellent method ... Read More
Rating: - Alan Downs did us all a favor
I was drawn to the book in the first chapter, and could not put it down. For the most part I recieved confirmation of my own point of view, as I started feeling like an outsider at age 40. Gay men over forty seem to have abondoned the arts for the disco, and still want to date 20 year olds and party cycle continues. Alan downs, put in to words a simle evaluation of where we are today and where we could be if we grow up. Thanks.
Rating: - Some Truths, Mostly Superficial
If you experienced the gay lifesyle as a skinny twink, enjoying the night life, drugs, alcohol and circut parties - this is for you. For the rest of us, it is very superficial and barely touches the reality or complexities of deep gay relationships. It also does not address bi lives or any real help to analyze heterosexual activity of men who may identify as gay or bi. In all, it's an interesting read but too superficial to make a real difference in building and maintaining a strong relationship.
Rating: - Though apparently helpful to some, I find this book lacking; read it cautiously and with attentiveness to its flaws
I read THE VELVET RAGE in response to the recommendation of a friend, many of whose sensibilities I share. While I don't consider THE VELVET RAGE to be a BAD book -- and while it evidently has been helpful to some men -- I find it deeply lacking.
Based on my experience during 53 years of life on this planet, I believe that for anyone to lead the fullest life possible, taking into account ALL the factors at play is important. For many years, writers in the realm of LGBT issues have focused their attention on homophobia and analyzed and campaigned for awareness of its deeply regrettable ... Read More
Rating: - Generalizing Differences
Downs, Alan. "The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World", Da Capo Press, 2006.
Generalizing Differences
Amos Lassen
Alan Downs has written a book for everyone--not just gay people. He leads us on a journey involving cultural values and human flaws as well as perfection so that we can find authentic human hope. I know this sounds like a mouthful but in reading "The Velvet Rage", it all fits together.
Downs maintains that that the kind of behavior that we as gay people see as what is called normal (I hate that word) is ... Read More
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